Remember
by CielIs2Perfect5Me
Summary: Prompt for the Elsword Fanfiction Brigade. Never forget the face that saved you, Ciel. But now, she is a monster. Will I still stay by her side as her loyal servant? Or will I fight for my freedom against her will? (Rated M cause I think some things might be bad in here haaa.)


**So my cool little thing I did with the thought sequence can't be done cause FF doesn't have align right. =^= So you're just gonna have to deal with boring align left writing lul. Enjoy.**

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Remember

What she has done is inexcusable. I will never forgive her.

The day I made the contract with her was the day I saw her true side. That glint in her eye, I mistook it as child-like innocence. Everything that she had done seemed so normal… I knew that we were being chased by demons every hour by the hour, but I did not think she would choose to go down the path that destroyed her.

The change…I brushed that off since I thought it was good for her.

Then I changed.

I remembered I was glad about that. I could finally catch up to Lu and keep her from destroying everyone, even our friends. That was what scared me about her. And now, I am her.

I was too confused to do anything. I was too shocked to say anything about it. Because every time I see her, I see Terre. I see the little sister I failed to protect and I see my second chance to redeem myself. Her memory has chained me down. And now it has me in a permanent choke hold.

I sit on my bed, my eyes are tired, my body weak. But I know I will never perish—that is the life of a demon. My fingernail pierces through my skin as I pinch it. When I look into the wound, there is no blood; just a small black hole slowly closing as if nothing happened. I gaze into the hole—is it even skin anymore? It is difficult to believe my arm could become unnatural. The moonlight causes my skin to glow but I see nothing beautiful in it.

I am her. I am…not human.

My hand digs into the bed. My tight grip adds five more holes to the shredded comforter and cotton falls out onto the floor. I kick some of the soft pieces away and under the bed. From the darker side of the bedroom, her voice creeps from the shadows and scratches in my ears, "What's wrong, Ciel~? Your scatterbrain thinking too much about the past?"

I say nothing.

Her figure steps out into the dim light and her canines appear sharper when she shrouds herself in darkness. She walks as if there is a crowd gawking from her mere presence, "What are you thinking, I wonder~? About the past? About the future," she places her elbows on the bedpost and rests her chin on her hands, "About who we should tear apart next? If you are thinking about that, tell me so we can do it! I'm _very_ bored."

"Forgive me," I lean my head down and close my eyes, "I am still unsure of who we should torture…"

"Kah! You never know who! But then again, we have tortured everyone we are allowed to," she paces to the wall and back to the bed, "And those idiots think we shouldn't hurt the people that 'help' us. Why shouldn't we?! Especially if they fail, like that little wench, Ignia. We knew there was something wrong with her and look what she did! She betrayed us! I wonder how her blood will taste if we rip her to shreds? The thought of it is making me quiver in excitement~!"

I deliberately move my head up to look at her.

I like the taste of blood, too. I like feeling the slime-like texture and breathing in the lustrous scent. I should not like the taste, the feel, the smell of blood. Yet, I do it.

 _Lu would have never made me into the monster I am. If Lu never embraced the darkness, everything could have been different._

She looks out the bedroom window to see if she can grab an unsuspecting creature that would dare perch upon her window. I stand up and take small steps toward the door, "I am going to fetch some water. Excuse me…"

In a flash, her hand covers the door knob and I can hear the metal squeak and moan under her grip. She lets go, revealing a crushed knob, and speaks through closed teeth, "Don't you mean _blood_ , Ciel? I'm thirsty for some blood and I want it _now_."

I stare into her eyes, thinking about what I should tell her. We cannot do that; the group has forbade us from killing unless we are otherwise told to. That is what I would like to say to her. I began to say, "But Elsword told us—"

Her hands thrust out, wrapping around my neck, her feet dig into my chest, and we stand there, static and unmoving. I am not scared; she has done this to me thousands of times before. Her face comes so close that she could kiss me, "Don't refer back to that moronic bastard. He will not be the boss of us anymore, remember? Do I have to make you remember why we should break off from his band of worthless humans," her little hands wrap tighter around my neck while her eyes widen to reveal her sclera more, "We're on our own now, Ciel! Only you and me~!"

"Yes," I manage to wheeze out, "only you and me."

One of her hands begin to comb through my white hair, "That's a good boy…look at me. I'm the only one you need in your life. You and I," her other hand caresses my cheek, "need each other since we are _connected_. We don't need that group, they all succumbed to the darkness as well, save for the Guardian. He was the only one that still gave a shit and wanted what was best for the greater good…but now it doesn't matter! He left us and we can do whatever we want, whenever we want! And right now, I. Want. _Blood_."

I glance at the door and back into her eyes. Saying those words meant that the others mean nothing to her. First her throne, and now her friends. The only person she does keep on her mind is me, and even then, she does not see me eye to eye; I am only here to give her more power.

 _Lu would have never done anything to severely injure me. Lu would never have to strangle me just so I could agree to her words. Lu would never beat me down so harshly that she could kill me._

None of my words want to spill out.

And it's all because of her.

The corner of my mouth twitch, "What…do you want to feed on?"

A dangerously sharp smile smears all over her face and she jumps from my chest toward the window. My right hand goes over the puncture wounds she made on my chest and my left hand rubs my neck where she choked me. Gauntlet meeting glass rang from wall to wall, I turn to the sound, and she is perched on the sill like a bird of prey. Although her hair is short, it still flips and flaps against the cold breeze that is coming in through the window. She turns her head to me, her irises become darker by the second, and her horns make her look more like a monster, "Let us go my faithful servant."

I do not want to. I do not want to.

There is a knot in my chest and stomach. If I follow her, everything will fall apart and nothing will stand. Why does she say such things when she never treats me as an equal? "My faithful servant?" I am nothing more than an extension to her power. My body finally listens for my feet do not move. She stares longer, her eyes narrow, "What is it, Ciel?"

Since there is a mask covering my jaw, she does not see my mouth opening and closing. I try to say "I don't want to," but only air escapes my throat. I want to speak, but I cannot say a word. She dramatically sighs, "Do you need to use the bathroom? I told you we don't do that since we're demons!"

"N-no…that is…not what I want to…say."

"Hmmm~? What do you want to say then?! Spit it out!"

Her sharp voice. Every word that comes flying from her mouth is only damaging to me and everyone around her. She cares about no one but herself. But I cannot give myself to hate her with every cell of my being.

 _Because Lu would never say hurtful things. Lu would never say my name with such poison, as if it is something she should spit out rather than say. The Lu I knew would never do such things…_

I think these thoughts every time hate arises in my throat. I have to say it but I always feel something holding me back. There are many times I believed she was controlling my thoughts—at this point, I would not be surprised if she is. But I think about all the times she and I could have turned back: when she became Diabla, I could have persuaded her to change her path; when I became Demonio, I still could have taken matters into my own hand and help her break the contract; and now I am Anular, I am only a hollow shell of a man named Ciel.

How did I let this happen? No, _why_ did I let this happen?

My throat manages to pull a moan from the depths of body, "Why…?"

"Why~? Why, what?"

"Why…do we have to part with…Elsword?"

Asking questions makes her angry, and now is no exception. Her eyes close to a seething glare, the hair on her head seems to stand up, and she somehow forces the corners of her mouth to edge closer to her ears. The darkness of night only made her anger more apparent—more potent. Her feet made no noise when she lithely steps off the window sill. I now notice her tail swings from left to right as she creeps closer to me. She looks more like a monster now more than ever.

I am not afraid.

She stops a few inches away from me and hisses, " _Why do we have to part with Elsword_ …? I thought you already knew, Ciel," her eyes reveal all the pain she desired to do on me, "Elsword and his band of pinheaded humans are holding us back from our true potential as demons.

"There's a reason why humans fear us so much," she coos while placing a hand on my chest and makes a slow circle around me, "We are powerful, we are like-minded, and we threw away any good we had to become this. It is the same reason why they fear us: they still believe the darkness is something that should be fought. Even though they themselves are using the dark for their own purposes! What hypocrites," she leans her head against my back and continues her circle; I can feel her hand slowly feeling my back "But I'm tired of that. I'm tired of their phony morality, their pitiful quest to save the world, and especially their twisted concept of _bonds and friendship_. Is that not a reason why we should leave these lost sheep?"

Her voice is scalding but not boiling hot; her touch is intimidating but not slicing deep into my skin. She is right about a few things: the group is holding her back from becoming her true nature and their quest to prevent darkness falling on Elrios is hypocritical. But I feel alive when I am with them, unbearable as they are. Unlike her, they view me as an equal. They think about my wants, my needs, my desires. Because they are consumed by the dark, they have a small light that must still burn.

I look down to see her pitch-black eyes staring back at me. Her index finger traces the contract symbol on my chest, making small tears into my skin to reveal the black nothing underneath it. I feel my heart swelling—from the pain she is inflicting on me and from the thought of leaving the group—and I dare to say, "But leaving them…will show that we are unable to survive the difficult ordeal. If power is everything, then…leaving will only show us as…powerless."

My will power was never strong since my being is forever bound to hers, but to say something remotely rebellious in her face sparks that…light back in my heart.

Is this what is feels to be human?

I am still staring deep into her eyes; she is unmoving and studying my face. I had learned to make sure I reveal nothing in my eyes, even though they are nothing but pitch-black holes. She may manipulate me as much as she wants, but she cannot completely control every aspect of my body. She saunters back to the window to lean her arms on the broken glass. Her foot is tapping rapidly, her tail is swishing to and fro, and she is flipping a piece of broken glass between her fingers.

Is she reconsidering going rogue? I doubt it.

But I don't want to leave them. Truly.

She turns and I can feel every muscle in my body become dead weight. She opens her mouth and cackles, "If you don't want to leave them, then fine! I can just take you by force!"

 _I…hate her._

 _She is not Lu._

"Don't…you… _dare_."

I can see the shock on her face as I swiftly summon my sniper rifle. The muffled shot went straight toward her heart but the bullet only went through the bedroom wall. My eyes immediately track her clinging onto the ceiling and she is scuttling toward me fast. I side step away from my place, dodging her feet; a loud crack almost split the floor under her in two. She gets on all fours, her gauntlets out and ready, and her smile wipes clean from her face, "You made a mistake attacking me, Ciel."

She rushes toward my direction, wanting me to dodge out of her way, but I unsheathe my gun blades, drag them against the carpet, and let loose a mighty swing. I see another genuinely shocked face on her which puts a small smile on my face. She raises her left gauntlet up to block the blow, she flies through the wall and into other rooms. From one of the holes, Elsword's black and red head pops up, his sclera's are apparent, "What the fuck is happening?!"

I walk up to the hole, my blades slicing into the carpet, "Sorry, Elsword. We are having a disagreement with…something."

"What the fuck are you guys arguing about at this hour?! Holy shit, get your guy's act together!"

Before I can even think of a response, a black shadow zips past by Elsword's head to tackle me through the wall and down to the streets. My ears pops when I make contact with the stone walkway and my body rolls for a few feet. The slight sound of a rock moving brought my muscle memory back, swinging my legs to kick her away. She skids back a few hundred feet and a snicker bellows from her, "Is this what you want, Ciel? Did you not want to tear this world apart by my side?!"

I stab my blade into the broken cobblestone, a loud crack resonates the empty path, and I can sense the others are watching through the windows. The faint yell of Elsword's complaints comes closer to the first floor along with the whispers of the other members quickly approaching. I straighten myself into my full posture, my voice a hoarse whisper, "I want to be with you…but I want to be with Lu…not with you…"

"What," she cocks her head to the side, "What the El are you talking about? Of course, it's me, Lu! Are you that stupid to not know it's me?!"

"You are…the idiot here…"

In a flash, I rush forward—my blades slicing through the air—and with all my might, I slam them down on her gauntlets. My blade met against her gauntlets with a loud clang. I put my weight onto her, but I know it is not enough to keep her down for long. I hear her snicker once more before she shoves me off her arms. My grip on the butt of the gun blades is tighter, "You destroyed the girl who had the name Lu…I will never forgive you."

The front doors fling open with Elsword at the front and the rest of the group following behind him. Elsword clambers down the steps, his voice almost at a screech, "Guys, stop this! You don't have to fight each other like this! What the fuck is wrong?!"

She turns around to Elsword with an accusatory finger pointing straight at him, "What do you think, imbecile?! Your mere presence causes Ciel's desire to stay with this moronic group! He even said I killed Lu even though I am her!"

"You did kill her…you killed her and you killed Terre…"

Her head turns to me, a vicious, knowing, blood-thirsty smile splattered on her face, "Hmm~? What do you mean?"

"Do not play dumb with me," I can tell my voice is louder—the gang is staring at me with bewilderment written on their faces, "You knew my past…knew about Terre…and you took advantage of that! _I. Will. Never. Forgive you…!_ "

With those words, I run towards her as my body shifts from my normal form to madness. Although I cannot see it, I can see the pieces of skin falling away from whatever normal skin is left on me; my hair reveals my dead, black eyes thirsting for blood—thirsting for her death.

 _Kill her!_

 _No, she is me, and I am her! I can't…_

 _Where did she go? What happened to us?_

 _Don't ask questions, kill her! From the right, stab into her side!_

 _But I can't. She's too strong._

 _There she is. She looks mad._

 _That's because we haven't killer her yet. Do it, now!_

 _My blades are heavy. I'm not strong enough…_

 _Where did everything go wrong? I feel numb._

 _You fool; she's coming in from the left! Now, while she's changing into her madness form!_

 _Please, I don't want to. If I hurt her, I hurt Terre._

 _Terre…I can't hurt Terre._

 _That monster isn't Terre! She never will be now that she's using you…and if we kill her, we will be free too._

 _But the contract…it will kill us as well. We will become nothing._

 _We need to save her._

 _Saving her when she's already neck deep in madness? Pitiful fool._

 _No, don't hurt her…she's—_

 _NO!_

Even in my madness, I know what I have done.

My hands are warm. There is red liquid flowing freely down both of them.

My body shivers. My eyes are blurred, but it comes clear when I see my blades are half-way through her waist.

She coughs out blood onto my face.

I do not blink.

She eyes my face, her smile still plastered on, "You…you did what…you wanted…Ciel," she coughs more blood on my face, "But we…are still…one…"

That hot feeling in my chest burns fiercely throughout my body. I drive the blades deeper, she makes a weak attempt to push herself off, and I pull her face close to mines, "Not…anymore."

Her final giggle bubbles up from her throat, streaks of blood stains her chin and neck, and she whispers, "What…a good…servant you were…"

 _Thunk_.

Silence hangs in the air.

I drop her body to pull my blades from her waist. Every inch of my gun blades is soiled by her dull red blood. I look up at everyone standing by the front entrance. Elsword and Aisha gawk at my bloody display; Rena and Raven just could not tear their eyes away; Ara and Elesis turn their backs on what I have done, most likely shrugging it off.

No one moves.

No one seems to really care.

I let go of my blades. They fall like two tons weights. Their sounds ring in my ears. A pool of blood pours out from her body creating a perfect circle around her. My eyes catch the stars hanging above us as well as the moonlight that shines down on my face.

I drink it all in.

I fall to my knees at her body. My forehead dips into the sticky blood. I feel my eyes water. I hear the others quickly approaching me.

She's dead.

 _It is finished._

And now I am, too.

 _Never forgive her. Never forget Lu._


End file.
